Losing Someone To Suicide
Leaves Many unanswered questions
How can I understand what happened?
What now?
I need comfort and support.
If only I had…..
The Healing Process
You need comfort, support, and listeners whom you can trust. Perhaps individual counseling with a mental health professional, a suicide survivor support group, or clergy member can help you through your grief.
What becomes of these intense, relentless feelings? They diminish as months and years pass, although grief is not a linear journey. Accepting and recognizing how to best cope with these feelings as they come up can help you move forward.
Maintaining contact with other people may take extra effort but is especially important during the stress-filled months after a loved one’s suicide. Friends and relatives also grieve or may feel uncomfortable and be unable to offer consolation. Find someone who will listen nonjudgmentally and not tell you how to grieve or what you should be feeling. Keep in mind that each person grieves in his or her own way on their own timeline.
Caring for yourself is critical as grieving someone you were close to is a long process that affects us physically, mentally, emotionally, socially and spiritually. When you are ready, starting to enjoy life again is not forgetting your loved one, but rather a sign that you have begun to heal.
Feelings and Reactions
It’s easy to be overwhelmed by a variety of emotions when experiencing such a loss.
Shock, numbness, and disbelief: physical and emotional numbness is often the immediate reaction as you block out the pain.
Sadness and Depression: sleeping and eating are impacted, fatigue, can’t concentrate, feeling that nothing can make life worth living.
Anger: at my loved one, a family member, myself, those around me.
Anxiety, Panic and Fear: are very typical in grief. When the worst has happened, other bad things occurring can feel more possible.
Relief: knowing your loved one is no longer suffering.
Guilt: may surface as a feeling “Am I to blame for this; what did I do wrong?” is common as we try to understand why.
Why? How can I enjoy life again with my loved one gone? Can I try to understand the suicide without it consuming my life? Thoughts of “If only I had done…”, or “If only I had said or not said…”
